Tanggal Dua Belas

Apparently, today is 12th. I didn't have any intention to write about sad thingy today, but maybe it's her way to reminds me about her.

So..I think I'm gonna make the 12th as the day of reflections. I'm gonna see what's happened in the past month, and try to take some lessons from it. Also, to write some wish for the next month.

I must tell you, I hadn't got any intentions to write anything yesterday, or the days before. I just opened my blog, read some updates from other's blog, then closed it. But today, some strange feeling of urge just pushed me to write. And I'd like to think it's her. Well it's better than the urge from 'galauness'.

Seven months have passed since that day. And--I think because it's still in the same year--not any day I passed without remembering her, and also missing her. Now people said that some times, when you lost the one you loved, you still able to see them in your dreams. I called that BULLSHIT, cause in seven months, she never appeared in my dreams. Not even a glimpse.

And the so called 'strange feelings' you felt before your loved ones die, BULLSHIT. I didn't feel anything, there was no sign, and the only thing real was the pain and the loss.

Now, about August.

August was an amazing month for me. First, Luna came to Jakarta, then I went to Makassar, my family vacation to Jogja, and many more. My greatest thanks to God for those amazing days of August.

One of the advantages of a (long) holiday for me, was the change to meet myself deeper. I spent almost the rest of my holiday in the house, quarreling with my own mind, defining myself, and also learning my emotions and my body. It's been wonderful and exhausting, because I tend to found the 'weak' side of me, which appeared in my lowest state of mind.

But I hope with this discoveries, I could be a better woman, a better daughter, and surely a better student.

Also, early this September I had the one week chance to meet my friend at the university, meet the Bahasa, and received a very amazing gift called iPhone 4.

My wishes for the rest of September until the 12th of October: be a better student, learn harder, work harder, and....well, play harder too, hehehehe :D

My new motto (sort of): eat, play, laugh.