My Mind Never Took A Holiday

If this is what they called being mature, or growing old, then this fase is NOT FUNNY AT ALL. It's not even fun.

Okay, here's the thing with me.

I end up signing my myself in different events, and I don't even know how to deal with it now. I have serious issue on trust, because I think that people trust me, and I always see myself as a person who ends up dissapoint them. A late report, absent on every meeting, no progress, YES, I AM SUCH A SUCK SLOW MISERABLE person.

I hurt them. I hurt everyone who has trusted me. Even my best friend.

And I got consumed by it. I started hating myself, I looked down at myself, and I hate everything that has happened to me.

I must admit, I have an unstable emotions this lately. Just a minute ago, I angry at my father for being sick and not able to move his car so my mom's car could get into the garage. Stupid eh? Well I hope he understand. I must admit, I even felt pissed after a chat with my friend last night.

Please, God Almighty, I prayed to You every night to help me deal with this thing around me, with myself, and to help me handle this crazy situation.

Maybe I need some time for myself.

In a cave.

Doing meditation.

Relaxing myself.

Shop a lot of books.

Drink a lot of milk tea.

Eat a lot of bread with cheese spread.