Lately, I found out that I'm a perfectionist.
And I'm in a serious perfectionist disease.
This started to kill me, since every time I found something isn't going as well as I wanted, or as I must be, I started to feel very bored and annoyed.
I'm started to be a control-freak, and I hate it cause I feel annoyed often.
The truth is, I didn't really enjoy this christmas. Something's missing, and it feels wrong.
And in the top of it all, my exam results is out.
I'm dissapointed.
Even though I haven't really know myself, but I know when I could truly say that I CAN DO THE EXAMS.
And I've tried my best. Really.
Oke, gw cape pake Inggris.
Gw kesel. Gw kecewa.
Gw belajar kayak orang gila, gw menghafal, gw bersaha memahami, gw memutar logika dan otak gw.
Gw merasa bersalah, karena dalam satu semester terakhir ini gw mendapatkan banyak banget berkah dalam materi maupun secara rohani dan pengalaman. Tapi gw tidak bisa mengembalikan itu semua dengan hasil yang baik.
SHIT MAN, I HATE LAW!!
God knows I truly wanted to enter a film school!! Not this forsaken law world where friend SHOULD eat friend, and seniority is worshipped like religion!
Semakin banyak nilai-nilai gw yang muncul dan ternyata mengecewakan, gw semakin benci hukum dan semakin merasa bahwa kesalahan besar gw rela menghabiskan dan MEMBUANG hidup gw 4 tahun demi belajar sesuatu yang bahkan tidak gw minati.
Yeah, I'm having my worst christmas.
1 comments:
it's ok to fail sometimes.
even though it's hard; you won't know what success feels like if you never fail :)
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